Save Yourself, Baby J

You are Jesus Christ, and it's been a rough ride for the past 2000 years. The world totally misconstrued your first mission to Planet Earth, and it made you so depressed that you began using substances- a lot of them. When you're not looking for a fix, God Dad nags you to go back down there and finish what you started. In a world that's on the brink of environmental destruction, whose inhabitants are caught up in the race for clout, how are you supposed to go down there and fix everything? They say, "God don't give you what you can't handle," and they also say, "if you can't beat em' join em'."  Well Jesus, best of luck: you are joining the capitalist rat race for clout. I truly hope you save the world this time.